


What other people knew

by Lil_VamP



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Heavy Angst, M/M, My First Fanfic, Near Death, Unrequited Love, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 04:24:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6223738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lil_VamP/pseuds/Lil_VamP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer had always kept his emotions hidden from others. When he tries to share them with Sam it's a roller-coaster and the moment he thinks everything is right it goes horribly wrong again and again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What other people knew

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever fanfic and English is not my first language so I'm really sorry if this sucks. It came to me while i was trying to fall asleep so I decided to write it. It was inspired by another fic i read a few days prior but I honestly can't find it now so if anyone notices something similar please tell me. I'm so sorry...

Lucifer Morningstar was the person in school everybody hated but was too scared to say anything to. He was smart and handsome with his blond hair and perfect smile. His stare could make everybody tremble and his words could crush you without effort.

Well, everybody hated him, except Sam Winchester. He was polite and understanding. He liked helping people and his smile could brighten the room in a second. Nobody really understood how their friendship worked, but in their senior year everybody knew that the two were inseparable.

Of course these are just thing that people knew.

^^^^^

Lucifer was in love with his best friend for years now and with the beginning of their senior year he had still not gathered the courage to say anything about it. 

They were sitting on the couch watching a movie Lucifer didn’t even pay attention to. Sam was so close to him, he couldn’t even think straight. He has thought about doing something for so long but he didn’t even know what to do. It’s not like he have had a relationship before, he hadn’t even been kissed. So he was panicking. He just wanted to touch Sam, to be even closer. So he gently slid his hand over Sam’s. 

The reaction wasn’t what he was hoping for. Sam looked at him for a moment before abruptly standing off the couch and murmuring something about more popcorn. 

After the movie the other boy didn’t act differently from before so Lucifer let it go.

^^^^^

Lucifer thought it probably meant that Sam didn’t return his feelings so he didn’t push it. He’d rather not ruin their friendship.

Then New Year’s happened.

Sam had dragged him to Crowley’s party despite his unwillingness. Sam was drinking and laughing with people while Lucifer stayed away from the alcohol and tried not to cause any trouble.

It was nearing midnight when he lost sight of Sam. He went around looking for him but didn’t find him so he decided to sit in a quiet spot near the stairs. A few minutes later he saw Sam coming from upstairs with a girl he knew was called Meg, looking disheveled and a lot more buzzed than before. 

When Sam spotted him he walked to him and stopped so close that Lucifer could feel his breath. He froze and just stared in his eyes. 

“Ten! Nine! Eight!”

Sam grabbed his wrist and tugged him event closer.

“Three! Two! One!”

Lucifer knew there were cheers but he couldn’t hear them. Sam’s lips were on his own. It was hot and wet and he never wanted to stop. 

By the time they pulled away the cheers had stopped and people were continuing their previous activities. 

“Sam?” was all Lucifer could manage to say. But that apparently pulled Sam from whatever trance he was in. The next thing he knew Sam was walking away from him and he couldn’t stop him.

He didn’t find Sam again after that so he went home. But it gave him hope. That kiss – his first kiss – allowed him to think that maybe he had a chance. Maybe, maybe there was really something between them.

^^^^^^

Sam didn’t act differently after that night. They continued their lives as if it never happened. Lucifer was confused and hurt. He cried himself to sleep every night and put his mask on every morning. 

One day he decided to do something. So he walked to Sam with his biggest smile.

“Hey Sam”

“Luce hey, what’s up!” damn that dimples.

“I was actually wondering if maybe you wanted to go on a dinner and a movie or something?”

“Oh … sorry man but I have that thing tonight I really can’t. “ 

He felt like his heart shattered into pieces. So the kiss really didn’t mean anything then.

Before Lucifer could panic that he probably ruined their friendship, Sam had a bright smile on his face and was talking about some kind of school assignment. So friends then… friends is good… I can do friends. Was what he thought before putting on his mask again. 

^^^^

It was hard at first but he got used to being just friends with Sam as time went by. They had both graduated high school, got accepted into the same college and shared one dorm room for about a month. 

Lucifer still didn’t have much of a social life but he was exceeding in his studies and Sam was still that happy kid. His happiness had kept a smile on Lucifer’s face even though the reason for it was Jess, whom Sam was dating.

^^^^^

Lucifer was studying when Sam came in their room sobbing. Jess had broken up with him and even though Lucifer felt a bit relieved he concentrated on the feeling of concern as he comforted his friend.

They had had a few whiskeys and Sam was begging to lean closer to him. Lucifer would usually protest but this time he was just as drunk. 

He didn’t know exactly how it happened but the next thing he knew he and Sam were kissing. It was even more heated that the last time. Sam’s arms were all over his body. Lucifer started tugging on Sam’s shirt. Their lips separated for a moment and then Lucifer stared at the newly revealed expanse of skin. He stared kissing Sam’s neck and adoring every inch of skin he could reach.

He was wallowing in the pleasure Sam’s moans sent tingling under his skin, when he felt a hand lightly pushing his head down. He continued kissing down the other man’s torso but he was still pushed downwards. 

It clicked in his mind then, what Sam wanted. He hadn’t ever given anybody a blowjob but for Sam he would do anything. He unbuckled the other boy’s pants and pulled them down along with his underwear. The sight of Sam’s cock almost made him panic but he was drunk enough not to. He compensated for his inexperience with enthusiasm licking, sucking. He ignored the urge to gag when he took Sam deep in his throat. He was pouring so much in pleasuring Sam that he realized after Sam came - he hadn’t even touched himself. 

A moment after he swallowed Sam’s release he heard the taller man’s light snoring. He thought about finishing off himself but decided it wasn’t necessary and cuddled next to his lover. Sam’s strong arms held him tight as he drifted to sleep.

^^^^^

The next morning he woke up with his head on Sam’s chest and felt truly happy. That was until the other man woke up moments later. The moment Sam’s eyes focused on Lucifer he scrambled off the bed, kicking Lucifer a few times.

“I… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have done this”

“Sam” Lucifer pleaded.

“I’m so sorry Luce… so sorry… couldn’t we forget it happened”

“Okay” 

After Sam left the room Lucifer cried for hours. He was just a mistake for Sam and now probably everything was ruined.

^^^^^^

It was awkward between them at first but it got better. They still talked watched movies together. The only difference was that at night when Sam was asleep Lucifer cried and longed for the things he would never have. 

The blonde hadn’t slept in weeks, he barely ate, it was taking him a lot of self-control not to cry every time he was near his roommate. He tried. He really did but he at the end he decided he couldn’t be just friends with Sam without putting himself through hell.

Sam was getting ready to go out somewhere when Lucifer got the courage to tell him. He just stood behind Sam who was looking himself in the mirror and took a deep breath. He knew he wouldn’t be able to say it if their eyes met so he just blurted it out. 

“I love you, Sam”

“Oh yeah, me too man” Lucifer held his breath when Sam turned around with a bright smile “So do I look good I’m going on a date with Ruby” 

What? “What?”

“You know that chick from art class, I told you about her man. And you claim you love me when you don’t even listen to me” Sam laughed as he bumped into Lucifer’s shoulder on his way to the door. 

“Okay. Have a… have a nice date Sam” Lucifer smiled and waved at his friend as he exited the room. 

The moment the door was closed Lucifer collapsed on the ground. He cried and cried for hours barely taking a breath. His thoughts revolved around a few facts: He would never be anything more than a friend to Sam, all the other things were in his head it was never more than a few drunken mistakes. He looked around the room and everything in it made him want to cry even harder. 

In the spur of the moment he grabbed his car keys and left the building.  
^^^^^^

The last thing he saw while he was driving was a bright light and before it went black he felt numb, there was no more pain.

^^^^^^^

Lucifer Morningstar woke up two months later. He had missed the way Sam cried next to him day after day. He had missed the apologies and most importantly he had missed the three words he had longed for so long to hear.

When he opened his eyes he saw a tall man with dark hair and the most beautiful eyes he ha ever seen. 

“Luce” 

“Uhm who are you?” asked Lucifer confused.

“I’m Sam” answered the man with tears in his eyes.


End file.
